ntu soci 3rd year x))
17th april 1987
5'7 tall
I don't tolerate incongruity
Music, Dancefloor makes me come alive
A world of self denial i live
embodiment of ice
YDesires.
canon ixus 970is or
fujifilm f100d
clothes
maintain GPA of 4.0 above
happiness
pretty skin
school work's piling up i'm keeping my steps to be consistent, no matter what i've to finish all that's to be done by sunday every week perseverance, or more likely.. ALOT of discipline
its still a pity ntu don't offer Political science as a major or Public administration... that's where my interest and perhaps forte
me and daryl were discussing about masters, she's contemplating rsis (S. Rajaratnam School of International Studies) but IF its me,(that's a big big if, interest and reality is quite off, because my financial state doesn't allow me to continue onto masters) i'll go to LKY school of public policy
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the human heart is so hard to fathom (not sure if its the right translation of "ren xin nan ce") how can one be so selfish, stingy and self-centered, always criticizing others as if no one is comparable to you, yet lamenting in front of others saying how fugly, lousy you're, hoping to fish for more complements of yourself
how can one ever live up with such hypocrisy laugh and hangout with someone you supposedly think otherwise (or is it just so normal for everyone and not me? because i'll never even bother to give a damn about someone who don't deserve it)
i can be the nicest to my loved ones (parents, bf) and friends... i may not be the meanest to the ones i dislike i just won't bother
is life just about having fun having tonnes of company to prove your popularity don't you feel so empty spiritually? sad to say...how we advocate quality over quantity most people chose quantity (their actions just show it)
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dear's school has started it really pains me to see him work day in day out for such long hours never get any proper rest sometimes not a proper meal and still has to study i know he's tired, but he never show it sigh, its also been a very long time i've seen him i miss him i really do
its been a while, we really have the time, to sit down, do nothing, just talk and enjoy one another's company
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i love silence silence is the most beautiful thing one can have people who know me well will realize i really hate noise, anything loud
because it is silence that gave me the space to think think about life
&loved you so.
20.1.08
i miss u so much and i love u only so much
&loved you so.
15.1.08
i just reached home and i can't stop sneezing, shivering and feeling cold i'm so exhausted, extremely tired
i still got so much work to do but i've no mood at all
i wish i can shop non-stop for so many things right now to gain therapeutic means, to deceive myself i'm happy but i don't have the ability to do so which means i'm even deprived of the basic means of deception
&loved you so.
14.1.08
if you're one who 1)blabbers non-stop in a 2-hour lecture with your friend where your shi-shi-sha-sha noise irritates everyone around you 2)in an already crowded train, knowing someone sitting is reading something and ta-da you take our your oh-so-tiny newspaper to read and block out 101% light giving the person total darkness 3)likes to step on other people's shoes/heel not just once, but consecutively when there's obviously space at the side for you to move, not as if tailing 1cm behind another person can fasten your speed compared with you walking your own path with no one blocking 4)talking and laughing so bloody loud on the train (or any public places) as if people are all non-existent 5)positioning yourself in the middle of the doorway and squeezing your fat ass through even though there are only ants alighting the train and you can't see them 6)think you are so hot, popular, pretty and criticizing other people's looks/bod
i really wish i can grind you like a peanut to make muah-chee or rojak
&loved you so.
12.1.08
i must be the only extinct animal on earth that leads the most monotonous life yet dull can be tiring as well because you've to hide your true feelings because you've to keep all problems to yourself because you've to be happy even though your inner world experienced a major earthquake/tsunami just not to worry your parents
i'm envious of many people's life whenever i read their blogs (even if i don't know them i person) yeah they may have their own problems too but i'm just plain jealous at least they got a glorious picture to show what have i?
i really am not looking forward to my 21st i don't see anything happy about me to be celebrated for
&loved you so.
&loved you so.
11.1.08
its only the first week and the stuff i've to do is 1 inch thick. not alot..but considering that some people have yet to start school -_-
already bought 3 textbooks, 2 more left
i finished one homework already! wahahaz. i love stats!! though i know its chicken-nuggets stats compared with what the biz people are doing it still gives you sense of achievement doing the as-easy-as-primary-school-work with ease :)
my semester is becoming increasing heavily :x
&loved you so.
8.1.08
suspect i've got an eye infection i'm not very sure thought it was sore eyes, but it wasn't as red but it will be painful one moment, itchy another moment sometimes abit red than tears will flow out uncontrollably from my left eye -_- am i going blind? i'm scared :(
past few days been catching up news on MC its really...a big big big pity... hearing/seeing all the people feeling so upset, sobbing over his death seeing people like thomas ong/chew chor meng who are so closed to him nearly collapse?? as i read on how these artistes' feeling now especially limei's blog...i can't helped but teared again i can totally feel how they are feeling...
suddenly i fear the day when i'll lose my loved ones i wish this day will never come i wish my parents won't grow old i wish my dear will never leave me
i should not be crying, as it's making my eye even more painful but i just can't help it
its raining so heavily now i guess, even god misses MC so much
so i never believe in being selfish to people around me i've seen too many selfish people, it chills me alot that why people can be so unsensitized to other people's feelings? only caring about themselves... want things go in their way and nothing else leave the lousiest things for others take advantage of others only be nice when they have a favor to ask etc etc etc
be good to your parents spend more time with them.....we don't know how many more decades we can see them... don't hurt your loved ones be happy say i love you whenever you can, be sweet and nice
i hope my friends can be happy with their lives i wish my parents can be happy, healthy, and stay with me forever i wish i can be with my dear forever and ever, i love you
&loved you so.
5.1.08
why is crying so much easier than being happy?
i wish i can be selfish i wish i can be self-centered so that i would not be placing myself at the bottom of everyone so that i would not give a damn about other people's feelings
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by the way we lost MC King a.k.a. 蓝钦熹 yesterday
he's been a great host, great DJ, great comedian
sigh my condolence
&loved you so.
3.1.08
primary school i never needed to study at all even till PSLE i was out at the fields watching my friends playing soccer with my girl friends @ the playground watching tv when i'm home all the tests and exams were nothing to me regardless the subjects were
secondary school perhaps i was too complacent because i thought life will be as easy i got into one of the top schools with my results i didn't really put in effort to study thinking good results will persist was wrong, wrong, wrong grades started to slide... sec 3 was the worst year.... never seen so many Fs in my life before everything seem to go wrong too seniors, backstabbers, friendship problems got kicked out of committee due to lousy results but was lucky enough to scrap through O's to jump from NYJC to TJC
two years of JC were hell imagine you're once top student in school in primary school, coming from top school in s'pore you are now the bottom 5-10% of the school (not just class) how would you feel? tonnes of r/s problems start to come in getting in and out of r/s getting distracted by alot things almost got retained almost could not make it to university so many things that stressed me so much i just want to take a break from everything i quit swo, something i love so much
now i'm in ntu i'm glad i chose the course i like and interested in for the 1st time in my life i feel i'm working hard to get good grades feeling contented and satisfied with my effort maybe its a little too late to only know the importance of working hard maybe i should have work even harder ever since sec 1 maybe life will be abit more different now
i'm working towards my goal hoping my grades will get better and better aiming for 2nd upper class hons now to compensate for my 20 years of failure i want a good-paying and satisfying job i want a happy family i want to be rich, its not materialistic its real, you can't imagine the pain of worrying about where to get $, quarreling with your spouse over money matters (that's the biggest NO-NO)
jiayou jiayou jiayou working towards a cosy family, a house, a car buying what i like eating what i like getting my parents the best of the best make them happy and of course live happily ever after with my husband and children
everyone's seem to have had a wonderful december holidays going on trips going out having fun
i wonder, what did i do?? rot rot rot haha..what a joke yeah i'm happy i have to be happy
&loved you so.
1.1.08
Happy 2008 to everyone wishes to all to be healthy and happy especially my parents, dearest baby :) not to forget friends like khinewa, chuhui, fufu, yuhui, yaqi, patricia, daryl, june, sally, etc
its not a good year to start with not feeling the best of the best not getting the module i wanted so badly not able to move my 21st birthday out of the exam period not able to feast when my sore throat's tagging me for almost 2 weeks not having enough moolahs to get what i want and save