to love &to be loved <3

28.9.07

yesterday while listening to 97.2 (yar i know its an aunties' channel -_-)
i was soooooooooooooo gek.
because they keep advertising for JUMBO SEAFOOD RESTAURANT
and they keep talking about CRABS
yar i have a big big fetish for CRABS
reports always say that chocolates give us high levels of serotonin...something like ecstasy...
but i think it doesn't apply to me.its crabs...
oh i'm drooling again

i don't mind having crabs for breakfast, lunch, tea, dinner, supper
if only they are not so overpriced!

&loved you so.

27.9.07

one of my wish next time is...
to bake alot alot of cakes, cookies, muffins, cupcakes, etc etc...
other than feeding my husband and own children till they grow super duper fat from all these sugar intake...
i will pack into nice packaging to give to my friends
or even invite them to my house every saturday for tea :)

&loved you so.

26.9.07

this is what he got for me last week...
and i swear GoodwoodPark has the best traditional mooncakes ever
despite eating so many different brands before...

mooncakes overdose! i think 12 is enough for sufficient constipation.lol...

-----------------------------------------------------

we went downtown east for the sakae/teppanyaki 90mins buffet...
yar..its 15.90 for students, 18.90 for adults (not inclusive of GST yet...)
you just order whatever you like within 90mins!
there's a time limit perhaps they don't want people to keep ordering teppanyaki...lugee for the co!
one of the very very few occasions i actually feel super bloated! (he eat abit only!! tsktsktsk)
its like the time limit makes you eat non stop, feel breathless when you stepped out of sakae sushi!
even the 4 sesame mochi he never touch!! ok he puke half of it out because he finds it super disgusting. lol
but overall its quite nice!!! though i'll still prefer sakura..for one thing the time limit is not so short..and you have wider variety...but dinner is 24 for weekdays though. now to think of it not much difference also!

okay then he drove me to some ulu ulu place to play lantern!!!!
he says that it is a very childish thing so we can't go crowded places with all the kids surrounding 'adults' like us. hahaha
so its already very sweet of him to go buy lanterns to give me this small surprise!
we had fun! though at times some taxi drivers will try to park near us and peep what we were doing at that ulu place hehe

i'm excited!

know we look silly. fancy 'adults' playing lanterns...

but...i like it! :)

we look chuiiii so having b/w mode is the best
though you still can see my face 'glowing with OIL' wahhha
and i guess we both need a haircut badly :p

&loved you so.

25.9.07

i love soup, pasta, seafood, snacks, buffets

i want to go Spain, Paris, Venice, Amsterdam, Seoul, Tokyo, Maldives, Gold Coast, Taipei, Hong Kong
i want to eat, i want to shop, i want to see the beautiful scenery

i want to earn tonnes of $$$$
other than paying off my school fees
i want to buy a car for my boy
i want 2 condos, one for myself and one for my parents
I promise them i'll buy them a condo to make them happy

maybe plastic surgery to make me fleshier, better still, as hot as Megan Fox...Michelle Reis is good enough (okay i'm dreaming)
sigh.because i'm so ugly i feel like shit

i'm really downright suay.why am i always suffering at the expense of others.
i'm forever until the mercy of people's bad temper, i mean everyone
i always spare a thought, think twice, thrice or even more whenever i do or say something, for fear i'll hurt anyone or what...but nobody does that in return to me.
conclusion: i really have a "qian bian qian da qian ma" face

and great
i've four big essays/assignments/projects due on the same day
GOOD LUCK

i'm so tired
i look forward to december...

how i wish i can have a merry x'mas?? a happy...happy one..

--------------------------------------------------

i know my hair is rotting, with no trimming/cutting/treatment for dozen of years
and lazy me don't use conditioner at all, which explains why my conditioner is still there when i've changed 3 big bottles of shampoo....

bear with me dearest 'hair'
i'll pamper you this coming december okay?
nice cut, nice treatment :)

&loved you so.

23.9.07

I'M VERY HAPPY
I'M VERY HAPPY
I'M VERY HAPPY
I'M VERY HAPPY
I'M VERY HAPPY
I'M VERY HAPPY
I'M VERY HAPPY
I'M VERY HAPPY
I'M VERY HAPPY
I'M VERY HAPPY

i must be happy.
i have to be happy.

&loved you so.

人在世的时候，要好好珍惜他/她
不要等到有一天，知道彼此之间只剩下最后二十四小时
才想要问他/她还有什么未完成的心愿
太迟了。。。

所以我终是尽我所能
给我至亲至爱的人，
最好的，最棒的
做任何事
即使对自己一点好处也没有，我依然为他们着想
即使搞到伤痕累累，都把自己放在一个毫不起眼的位置

人能活多久
并不掌握在自己手上
每分每秒都希望活得快乐，充实
难道错了吗？

为何人往往要在失去的时候，才懂得珍惜你拥有的一切？

i read a newspaper article this morning...
and i just feel like writing...

&loved you so.

22.9.07

goodness, E65 is now only 88bucks and U700 only 298bucks!!!! SIGH
but only with new signups...how nice if w/o contract price is like that!! :X

apparently there's lots of stuff i want to eat..
but i've this stupid big fat ulcer in my mouth....
sheesh...

and concert tickets are so freaking expensive...
i really like those singers but...i won't pay that kind of money for such concerts..
i rather tangible goods..
but if in future, sammi, kelly, ekin, daniel, nicholas, coco holds a joint concert...i may consider. lol...

the weather nowadays is sooooo hot
i feel like melting!

ahh..staring at that pile of accumulating assignments i feel like dying...

&loved you so.

20.9.07

i want my future home to have this!!!
http://luckystarlantern.com/index.html
so pretty!!!!
i want my future home be simple and slick
plus very unique & oriental decorations!! :)

&loved you so.

19.9.07

for the past few days i could hardly BREATHE
studying for 205 test, forcing myself to stay up and read those dense politics notes (mission impossible -_-) just to complete one pathetic essay which you calculate out...its just 1% of the total grade.

and i can't imagine i'm such an obedient slave this semester
just for that 1% i'll stay up till 3-4am to finish the essay
and i've been doing my readings all up to date! (finishing is one thing, understanding is another thing though...)
just had forensic sci quiz...i think i must be the only idiot of earth to think its quite hard...i mean its true...like its SO DIFFERENT from that stupid "practice quize" he posted online...no way near...and i hate case study. i can't infer... that's why i can never be a good history student
i'm SO SO SO SO tired that the moment i hand in my paper, take a short break and supposedly go back for lecture...i just fell asleep unknowingly like that! NY auditorium is just so comfortable to sleep...and wake up in shock to see bernice they all laughing at my sleeping posture -_-

but recess week is not much better anyway...
205 project due
209 project due
201 term paper due
311 term paper due

term paper is quite scary actually, especially for 311 (politics)...
its some sort like a mini thesis...
like we've to come up with a phenomenon or question we wish to focus on...write a proposal for prof to veto...(i really hate it when there's no fixed question for us)...worse its on politics. oh well...who ask me to choose a year 3 module to take?

i need my beauty sleep like serious
bye

&loved you so.

15.9.07

i used to thrust myself away from religious people, especially christians/catholics
because i've had bad experiences and heard quite abit of pushy people
as i grow older, my prejudice against such pious christians/catholics has decreased
perhaps all along from primary school, secondary school, JC...
i never had close friends who adopt such religion
i don't know if it is pure coincidence or sub-conscious intentionally being selective of people i hang out with
because i chose to believe such religion clashes will sour a relationship
since there are many activities we can't do together
i've to think twice before i say something in case i offend your religion, etc

till now i still don't understand how powerful a religion can does to a person
even though i've seen quite a handful of friends surviving now and leading a good life thankful to their religion
my view still has not change much (i reject such religions because i'm contented with who i'm now, but i've nothing against the religion or the people)
i'm just awed that now in university
everyone you single out whom i speak to or hang out with in school
they are ALL Christians
(perhaps because i'm in Arts, especially courses like Sociology)
and i realise..
having "religious" friends really don't have such big a barrier as i thought
other than i'll be somehow out of place whenever they start talking about their cell groups and so on
and they know its pointless introducing me to their religion, they won't even try
so our friendship are all still going rather fine
just try our best not to involve anything related to religion in our topics that'll be fine
and in someway or another, i'm happy for some that they managed to find light in their life through religion

just a thought suddenly while reading my notes...

&loved you so.

14.9.07

a break from studying
i decided to take out my very very very old collection of CDs and play them
of course, my favourite singers are Coco, Sammi & Kelly :)
not just of their fantastic vocals but also their song lyrics are always so meaningful
as they age...
i believe Angela Zhang will be a potential successor because she's just great

all time favourites of theirs..
Kelly

Sammi

Coco

for guy singers
Ronald Cheng,Andy Xu are one of the best
of course i second that to Daniel Chan...but he seems to vanish into thin air
they have perfect vocals for love songs

&loved you so.

The fire which gutted three shophouses at Block 683 Hougang Ave 8
where special attention goes to the family where the parents had fortunately escaped, but their son was burnt to death and their daughter suffered 90% burns also died @ the hospital

plus

the countless magnitude ranging 6 to 8 earthquakes happening in Indonesia

SIGH

&loved you so.

studying is never possible without tidbits
but its a crazy thing that all these junk food fails to make me gain some weight (on top of the humongous appetite i have for rice)
during forensic science lecture that day the lecturer mentioned about the human hair occupying quite a large portion of proteins...and my friends turn to look at me and laugh
i guess that's the reason. -_-

Organization test on Monday
1st part of life course interview reflections due on Monday
3 thick set of politics reading due for the two hour tutorial on Tuesday
Forensic Science test on Wednesday

even though recess week is coming
there's 2 big projects due right after that
which stands 30% of the total grade

#$%#$^#$!

&loved you so.

13.9.07

An Evening of Chinese Classics
黄河 .梁祝
tickets are snapped up so quickly
sigh. what a disappointment :(

----------------------------------------

i love tidbits
i love mooncakes
i love pretty pastries, cakes, cookies, etc etc
i love everything!!
FOOD makes eileen happy

but i still like the joy of buying things for others

&loved you so.

11.9.07

39

12

06

04

these numbers prick

i hate myself for being weak

&loved you so.

i like to blog-hop alot
read about people's blissful love life and can't help feeling happy for them

i remember i used to buy a stalk of flower for myself whenever i feel down to cheer myself up
i remember buying small little things and wrap it up and address to myself

i will then have the urge to spend all the money i've with me on those pretty, expensive cakes/pastries and gobble them down

mid-autumn festival is coming and i ought to feel excited as i will be every year
but i don't feel anything
even the wide varieties of mooncakes can't tempt me anymore

i hate the feeling of not being able to turn in whenever the clock strikes eleven
but now i've not yawn a single bit

when people say shopping is therapeutic
maybe it does
because it provides you a channel of satisfaction to compensate for what's lacking

sometimes you feel so lonely
other than the fact i'm an only child
i've to keep everything to myself
regardless happy or sad emotions
no one to share with
there'll always be moments you think that no one gives a damn about you
and you feel so insignificant

i like to listen to sean kingston's /beautiful girl\..."

your way to beautiful girl
that's why it will never work
you had me suicidal, suicidal
when you say it's over

at least hearing someone seemingly complimenting you makes you feel better

i got 101 things on my wishlist and hope they'll fall from the sky
pray hard i can print notes to buy all of them
or people can be nice to read my mind and get them for me
thinking i can smile from ear to ear if i can own all of them

its a pity i'm always thinking of surprises for people (even though i may not have the means, but the thought actually counts in this instance, but sad to know that such thought doesn't even blink once in people's mind)

actually all are just forms of self-denial
perhaps i show symptoms of an escapist
or i really do suffer from escapism?

i'm just being random
pardon me

i'm really so tired
but i can't get to sleep

&loved you so.

10.9.07

what i really need
is just so simple
yet i can never get it

&loved you so.

我喜欢望着天空
因为只有这样子
泪水才不会轻易流下
因为只有这样
星星才会对我眨眼
告诉我世上尚存奇迹

奇迹真的会出现吗？

&loved you so.

9.9.07

Love is delicate, just like life
without care
it will break like glass
cracks will appear
no matter how hard to piece it back
it will never be flawless anymore

I HATE MOONCAKES. DON'T COME NEAR ME.

&loved you so.

8.9.07

Recess is coming!

i've been a good girl since school reopened!
i faithfully do my required readings, nothing less, but nothing more =x
i obediently handed in my assignments on time :)
i attended ALL lectures/tutorials without skipping any even if i'm unwell!
i stayed home on my off days to study and do work
ain't i good? ^-^

Thus, may the profs be good too
by not giving extra work for the recess
so that i can finish those readings, assignments and projects early
and then REST!
its been how long i've sat down for a proper hour of tv?
indulge in good food?
go on a shopping trip?
ahhhhhh.and not to say...spend sufficient time with my boy
everything's just in a rush...
i'm an official slave of sociology
and i doubt this recess is enough to take a breathe even

DECEMBER where are you!

&loved you so.

My boy got a silver.
and i'm very very happy!! :D

&loved you so.

7.9.07

heard this familiar song over 97.2 today...
one of my favourites...
actually he do have alot nice songs..like /祝君好\ and /天地男儿\

张智霖---爱情开了我们一个玩笑

爱情仿佛云朵,出没总是那么自由,
完全不能照计划来走.
碰头,分手,像作了一场梦,
如果不曾交手,如果我们不会曾心动,
现在的生活会如何,
快乐,寂寞,还是继续沉默.
我们都太骄傲,我们也都太懦弱,
所以把机会都错过,
爱情,开了我们一个玩笑.
我们都太脆弱,我们也都太慎重,
爱给的时间却不够.
今后,只有想念曾经你我,
凝望,微笑,亲吻,牵手.

-------------------------------------------------------

politics essay of 5pages long to be handed up every week
3 readings each for all the modules i'm taking every week
research for my hs205 project to be done
1st reflection on 1st round of interview of hs209 due next week
midterms before recess week

need me to continue?

IPPT test for dearest tomorrow..加油加油！我爱你！

&loved you so.

3.9.07

people often say crying helps to solve your problems, or at least make you feel better

then why is it that i feel worser every time when i cry
and i ended up crying even harder

emotional toll is getting the better of me

i've 1001 things on my to-do list
school sucks.
everything sucks.
i feel so stress, until i feel so bloated that i might explode any moment...just over everything

i really don't want to be a human the next life

&loved you so.

1.9.07

i realise 90% of my entries are about my stress over school work
indeed i really am

my mood is dull
my complexion is dull
(with darkening eye circles!, pimples, overly-dry + overly-oily areas,WRINKLES.............. yah i'm having premature aging)
my skin is dull (lacking of radiance, yellow, pale, because its been how long i've been in the sun doing something)
my hair is dull (frizzy, dry, split ends, unkempt.. .i really want to do something...yet afraid i'll regret)

SIGH
i totally look like a 黄脸婆 now, not from doing housework, but from the mundane stressful yet boring life i'm leading.................

i wish i can be stress-ful
i wish i can smile and have fun
i wish i can feel like my age and not triple my age
i wish to have surprises in life...

dream dream dream

and now back to my readings again.

&loved you so.