to love &to be loved <3

26.2.05

if one haf changed..
its almost impossible to get him back to hu he is in e past..

negligence haf banished me to a tiny cell in a faraway land..
feeling cold in a vacant room..
all i cud hear is my own heartbeat n breathe..

all along..
spinning tales bout happiness is my cuppa tea..
in real..
i dunno when was e last time i watched a movie i realli wan..
i dunno when was e last time i was out on a date..

maybe all tt i noe was e rain tt befall..
which marks a stop to my silence.

&loved you so.

20.2.05

Porche Boxster (Blue)

&loved you so.

Porche Carrera GT

&loved you so.

"memories are onli to b etched deep down in my heart n nv to b reminisced again.."

bad bad wk.
it ain getting ani better wif tests n more tests.
math was pathetic.
even if i get full marks for vectors test i'll still fail.
chi was bad!a super duper long qns n e part whr i wrote quite alot was refering to e wrong person.
was being v guai by going home str8 for e past few days.

went to make my passport.
it was a disaster.
nearly died of laughing coz it was so malu-ating.

super duper hot n humid weather tt can drive u nuts.
basically even after u've bathed.
u'r sweating profusely e next min.

huihui:i love the earrings!!n its on my ears now too!! :D

chuz:whr's my personalised cap??

hjm:i'm getting more gan jiong den u!! updates!! spicy juicy news!!

kw:i'm getting pissed!!when r we going out hur!!n i juz rmb dis coming fri i got a freaking geog fieldwork to do n there goes our outing.

n my dearest graduating soon again!leaving tekong le!!happy for him..but e past few days was hell for hell*poor boy*..

dear:hmm..no matter wad u'r..i'll still love u to bits :D
dun disappoint me again kiez?

dis wk is a killer too.
for a math cancer terminal stage patient like me.
n there's geog essay AGAIN.
lucky i've dropped econs.
if not i'll juz drop dead n go n die.

meeting dear in a few hrs time...

&loved you so.

15.2.05

n i forgotten to mention my dear's so swt..tt he went to e temple on sat to get a ping an fu for me..utterly touched~

wif my miserable vday..wif dear stuck in ns..live firing..cudn't even msg him or hear his voice..arrgh..but dis morning i woke up wif a smile seeing incoming msges frm him when he came baq last nite..

today msg quite a bit n heard his voice at least for a while!i'm contented..:D
but sad to say he'll b going outfield tmr n thurs!! sian-ed..another 2 tongku days w/o hearing frm him..shall pray for his safety!!coz he's always injuring himself..

day is slack for me today..nth much..v slpy oso..slept n tok crap during e 4 periods break..after sch slack in library ard den go for lepclub..

both my mortals replied!!

i'm glad to haf xw as my dearest..gess i wun b able to take another fall in my life if i had met ani other guy hu juz will end e r/s in a while..he's diff..v diff frm others i noe..for all i noe he's all true n swt to me =)

for those hu r reading..pardon me for dis public display of affection for him..gess i realli matter him alot..prob more impt den anithing or anione else..n i realli luv him alot*

sheesh..freaking geog drq..can't he juz tell us which area to cover..juz for a 10mark drq we'r struggling wif it!!arrgh..n there's cha guan test dis fri..next wed urban geog essay n math lecture test on vectors together! faints..killer one..

n i hafen been passin my tests dis yr.my progress report is gonna b so ugly

gosh.

n i'm still v sleepy.

&loved you so.

14.2.05

happy vday/frenship day to all

its a pity i can't spend vday wif my beloved.
i miss him so much..so much..esp on dis v special day..
whr u see couples together..
hand in hand..
holding stalks n bouquets of flowers..
a tinge of loneliness strike me..forcing my tears to flow..
i miss u darling..

anw its gr8 to haf him wif me on sat nite n sun..
ystd we watched /racing stripes\..its so so so nice!! :D
den ate swensons.
e whole day costs us a bomb!!
n dearie gave me a big me-to-you bear n flowers on sat nite..how swt of him..
coz i noe he paiseh to hold flowers such stuff..
yet he came wif em at my hse there..

e flowers r nicely placed in a vase on my study desk..looking at it everitime..
n e bearbears in my cupboard..=)

den today was a slack day..
gave e presents i bot to my frenz..:D
esp thx to my angel wenyuan..she's got me a real swt present.
n oso thx to kw,hjm,pam,chu...

i'm so tired..gess i'm going for a nap.
hopin to dream of him..

&loved you so.

12.2.05

ystd was a happy happy day!
he tried to surprise me by faking he's still at home while he's long outside waiting for me. =)
but grrr..e cramps r killing me eva since math lect.
math test i felt so like fainting.
wad stupid qns n i juz stare into space.
-_-

i slept frm 7 till 8 dis morning..
can see wad kinda pain i'm in!
haha..

ltr evening going dear's fren hse..
sheesh..hope everithing turns out fine!

sad..happy days r ending soon..
tmr will b e last day seeing dear le..
grr..so hate army now!!

&loved you so.

10.2.05

went grandma's hse a while ystd..nth happening since i'm always sian-ed there.
n its nth special hearing e same comments bout me everi yr.
but still..quite happy bahx..

after tt went dear's hse!!
omg he's pressurizing me at 1st..ask me faster coz his cousin waitin for me when i still at grandma's hse!!
den ltr my dad drop me at tamp n dear come drive me to his hse..
i bet he wana spot check whether i look ugly before i appear in front of his mummy! lolx..
my heart was thumpig n i felt so like retreating!
gee..but it was a nice experience thou..
his cousin left le..coz i came abit late..
den his mummy n mama v frenly!!
his relatives were playing mahjong..while me n him was sitting watching tv..toking..
got 4 angbaox there *smiles*
after tt we went out..
reach home before 1 n i'm sooooo tired.... zZZz...

now waiting for relatives to come.....
miss my dear!
n hope everione else collect lotsa angbaox :D

&loved you so.

8.2.05

cny is juz a few hrs away..
i ought to feel perked up..wif e thot of collecting angbaos n so on..
but i'm not..
was reading some letters..n looking thru my neoprints..
can't help but feel sad..
or maybe..i'm always e redundant one..
but to tink on e bright side.
i shud b glad..tt at least i'm a small tiny part of her journey..
n i shud b contented..

since cny is approaching..
i wish tt my parents will b happy..healthy..free frm worries..
my studies to improve..n do well for end yr A's...
not so affected by ppl..cheer up more..
hope all my frenz r happy..
lastly..my dearest to b well..happy..safe frm all his tough trainings..
n cheers to our eva-lasting r/s..

&loved you so.

7.2.05

it still hurts.
tried to ignore e whole damn thing but i cudn't.
imagine u stoning while watching 2 ppl laffing so happily like no one's business.
u'r juz a piece of mirror enhancing their conversation.
sad.hurt.pissed.wadever.
once again.e sch sux feeling is back.
its even worse when ppl's insensitivity is driving u to a dead end.

&loved you so.

4.2.05

basically wasn't realli in a gd mood recently.
juz get pissed v easily thou i seldom show.
trying hard to put on my smiles wheneva i can.

it hurts when someone juz totalli forgot bout ur existence when another person(s) came along.
it hurts when someone onli rmbs u wheneva their beloved co. is gone.
it hurts when u treasure someone alot n place dem wif gr8 importance in ur heart..but u mean lil' to dem.

e feelin sux when u'r feelin so vexed up yet ppl ard u r makin such a din.
e feeling sux when u tried toking to someone n another person keeps interrupting..knowing e fact tt both of us r hafing a conversation..much more impt den e crap e person is gonna fart.

e feelin sux when ur tears r on e brink of falling yet u hafta use so much force to stop it flow.
e feelin sux when u hafta hide n cry for a long time.
e feeling sux when u needa someone so much he's not there for u.

some ppl juz for godness sake haf some self reflection of themselves in front of e mirror.
stop trying to b bhb n keep saying act chio act cute act big.
hmm bhb is not e word coz dey've nth to flaunt?
its juz getting irritating.

u always place ppl u cherish b4 u..
u did things for dem trying to make dem happy at e expense of ur own sadness..
but to dem u'r onli visible when their more fave grp of ppl ain ard..
it hurts..so much..
but u juz gotta learn to console urself..
at least..dey still care a lil'.

sometimes u wonder y dey wud choose someone hu has a not v nice character.
n at least u noe urself tt u ain liddat.
u always treat dem nicer den how u treat urself.
but still..e fact is always tt e other party tends to b cherished more.
e feelin is worse when u gotta hear their laughters behind u while u try to walk in front so as to not let ur heart tear more.

&loved you so.