to love &to be loved <3

31.8.06

Utada Hikaru - Ost Majo no Jouken

all time favourite of mine since primary school!! i'll just end up sobbing throughout the show regardless how many times i watch it!

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if only relationships are always romantic and sweet..

&loved you so.

30.8.06

lecture sucks
school sucks.
holidays please come??

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cramps sucks.
AHHHHHH. really hate it.
and weather is so bloody cold..aggravates everything.
if only i can skip school and just hibernate at home. SIGH. my parents will courier me to school if i do this.

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i love my hair very much.
i love my hair color very much.
i really don't wish to part with these 2 things just for 1 day...
dilemma!~

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i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you
i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you
i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you
i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you
i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you
i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you
i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you
i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you
i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you
i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you

can you fly over to give me just a nice warm snuggle??
cramps ruin my day.

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Renee: "why aren't you in pageant my dear?"
Me: "I don't stay hall. They are organising hall pageants"
Renee: "i've seen all the finalists from smu, nus, ntu, seriously looking at them..i really don't know what events are the 3 schools holding. but one look at SIM finalists..people know they are pageant finalists.."
Me: *Grins, (thinking of Ann, Andrea, Caixia) i nodded ^-^

Renee is still this sophisticated woman, one of the "qi zhi" mei nu i've ever seen even in just casual wear. Her age is still a mystery to all of us, but she'll always be our idol and someone we respect. She's just so nice =)
She should just go join Miss Singapore. She's worth more than the title.

i've known and seen so many babes who aren't in pageants.
Tabitha is one hot one who should be crowned miss ntu.
powerwoman crowned as miss smu.
nus..i don't know but on my train rides to school i've seen many gorgeous ones, like santarina! =) but she's a year 2.hah.my fellow baileys babe.

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&loved you so.

28.8.06

mondays are always senseless to me.
travelling the sickening long rides just for HW101 lecture..which is not even productive at all..
BWAHhhh. i feel so guai suddenly.
as the lecture hall gets emptier and emptier..
i wonder how long can i last!
hah.
oh great.
i almost puked on bus179 today.
GRACIOUS ME can anyone tell me which faculty that fugly disgusting guy is from?!?!
for heaven's sake..
He was deeply engrossed in his book /engaging god's world\..
at the same time..nibbling his each and every part of his finger nails the whole 20mins bus ride !!!!!! sucking so hard giving those unbearable tsktsktsk sound..Yucks i tell you.
as if he was eating some crunchy tidbits happily away. *left to right..right to left...again and again*
utterly disgusted.

THEN
on the way back i sat beside a female CNP.
i wonder what the hell am i thinking did i sit beside her okay.
she smelt of puke and diarrohea @%#$#^!
i should have sat beside the ABNN instead..
at least the horrid jasmine smell is better than puke&shit.

What a lucky day.
not to mention...Hai.

i only wish to be happy just for at least one day.

&loved you so.

27.8.06

poor boy;
he's sick
having stomachache due to /unknown\ reason
went to see the doc in the middle of the night when i'm piggying
before this he was having serious sore throat, fever..
i'm like freaking worried about him.
*pray hard that he'll recover soon* kisses ^

supposedly going to catch /snakes on the plane\ today..
but he's still sleeping and i don't want to disturb him

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the readings seriously suck.
i'm procrastinating i know that.
its already going onto the 4th week
yet i've not finished my 1st week's reading. DAMN.

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i need retail therapy.
more basic tanktops and tees please?
Queen's coulture, flesh imp, newurbanmale, guess, topshop
when's the guess tote bag coming in?
i love it so desperately!!
if only my birthday is tomorrow HAH.

someone's birthday alarm clock is ticking by.
should i or should i not get the gift?
sigh.why am i such a silly FOOL.

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kamal's lessons are getting better.
at least i think it is. without those silly loser guys from biz.
no more awkward silence.
and i understand what kamal's saying.

cikgu aziz is very funny!!
he's retiring soon. and he's a big sotong.
i mean real sotong.
but he makes the 2 hour 530-730 lessons entertaining =)

ling-ling is nice and friendly.
but i seriously don't get her pronounciation.
its a problem of getting use to it.
AND she doesn't goes in-depth of what we ought to know.
its not good at all.

charan is the most unbelievable tutor i've ever seen.
he's like an ahbeng who just finished his PhD.
HAH.but he's amusing.and he is damn crappy.
but not the tutor i wish to have..

beatrice is fine as a tutor though she doesn't really leave much of a impression to me.
sad to say..the class is so clique-kish.
4 soci girls, 3 econs peeps, as opposed to a dozen of elit students.
i feel weird.very very weird.
by the way one of the class assignment we had to write in just 10minutes was..
*freestyle writing, write a paragraph of ANYTHING you think of, condition--all your words must begin with a vowel*
GOSH everyone was like WTH.

this is what i wrote :
I anticipated evolutionary and unforeseenable events occurring. I am afraid of unpredictables and unsure. Imagine everyone in anxiety; obliging and escaping, I insist obscurity. Isolation illuminates earthlings. Aliens invade. Undoubtedly, everything is unescapable. If only I am unbeatable...

compare with my friends who were like so lost and wrote things like
I open an umbrella..

they claimed it was a fantastic piece of writing..like a novel..
BUT i think i don't even know what i'm saying.
and if you really look into it..it has no logic or whatsoever.
guess this is what you call freestyle writing.

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&loved you so.

19.8.06

Provided By MetroLyrics

the next dance i'm working on.hopefully.

&loved you so.

suggested by my friends to join Girl's Nation Dance Battle.
but yet i guess not.
i'm rusty.
very rusty.
and no matter how good, its still pressurizing competiting with people attending proper dance lessons right now.

tempted to learn latin hiphop now =)

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i just can't stop listening to /a thousand years of love\..
repeating it everytime i on my computer..
its like so WHOOO.
just love it.

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he's just beside my house there playing soccer yet i can't meet him
so near yet so far
SIGH.
somehow i wish school has not started..
there's simply so many things i want to do and HAVE NOT done it.

I want to learn wakeboarding (just think its so cool and he plays it..hope to play it with him:> )
as i mention latin hip hop..its something you can't learn it on your own unlike normal fusion hiphop or j/k pop..
meet up more with my friends..

lastly..HIM.
spend alot alot alot more time with him. =(

&loved you so.

17.8.06

sigh.i really don't understand.
you don't lack of friends.
and you once told me in my face that you don't like her.
asking me not to worry because you're on my side no matter what.
not that i'm trying to stop you having friends..
but if i'm the one i won't do such things like even befriending someone who did such a mean thing to my close friend.
its the feeling of being crossed and somehow cheated by your most trusted friend.
do you understand the feeling?
not long ago i told myself its okay if the world turn the back on me i still have you
now i see this happening..i shiver and wonder can i still continue trusting you..

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this week is madness i can't breathe.
arrrgh.
can't wait for next week to arrive.
work is piling up notes are like terrible..
rushing to tutorials and being late everytime......
sheesh.
but i know 2 very nice friends today =) they're in bio-med/chi med..!

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sorry can't spend much time with you this week
hope we can meet more often next week..=)
missing you loads

&loved you so.

16.8.06

still brooding over the 800buck Comex06 job.
it will have settled almost 9months of transit concession pass of mine.
OR 3months of allowance.
OR a PDA.
OR 1/3 of a laptop.

OK i shall stop thinking

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hectic school days.
only Malay isn't that stress.
because i've a sotong-and-retiring cikgu
lessons are liven up and having lamers like the class laughing at his goondo-ness.
he's nice =)

Socio was bad.
real bad.
did i mention the 500 pages notes i printed in the library and end up hogging the copier which invited unpleasant stares?
corrections.i realise for this specific "spore" module alone this semester..there are almost 900 pages of notes.
plus the other modules i've..
FREAK.
nearing 2000 pages for just a short 12 weeks is no joke at all.

furthermore
i always fear angmoh lecturers.
though some really speak brilliant english..
some really speak so monotonously and make you want to sleep and worse still..strain your ears because you can't catch a single thing he's talking about.
AH!!! save me.

i hate moving around north/south spine looking for tutorial rooms and lecture halls..
hate amazing race in this way.

thursday and friday are days i "dread" because they are my tutorial days..
days i've to prepare so much readings and process them..
for discussion in class...*note..discuss something which i don't understand at all so i don't know what i should discuss TOMORROW.

and people are freaked out by the thought of me wanting in minor in computer engineering.
haha.
that means i won't have any company next semester to go that block with me.

by the way its so unfair because i don't even have a common tutorial with bernice, esther, daryl, baoyue..the crazy peeps =(

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i think i'm stupid.
i know i'm.
he always tells me that i'm stupid too.
but i tell myself the choice i made to stay on with you isn't stupid.
regardless what's stopping me.............

my heart never stop.

hope you like the AX breakfast delivery today =)

&loved you so.

13.8.06

i'm such an emo freak for the past weeks and days.
it really is pure shit when you just get everything hurled at you like nothing.
i'm not angry, though i know i should at the very least, having own pride and esteem.
but i just can't bring myself to be angry, i'm just..uber hurt, sad, whatever you name it.
crying like no one's business even to the extent of doing something foolish.
it is heartbreaking..and i hold it all down to myself..
hoping you'll show me respect..
or even feel heartbreaking for doing such things to me.

do you really think if i've the chance i'll let such things happen?
sigh.
can this be over soon? i can't take it any more.....

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sucks.
the notes-printing-chore is such a fuss.......
#@$#@%$#!

because of school i can't do the Comex'06 job!! its so #%$#$! so see cold hard cash flying pass you just like that.

because of school i've having big problems etc etc.

because of school i haven't prepare anything for the coming big day.

ARRRRGH>

&loved you so.

8.8.06

i feel like a sandwich now.
perhaps
even worse than that
i'm trapped
i'm stuck
i'm feeling so suffocated under the constant pressure by both sides.
i'm doing my best to accomodate both
but they don't seem to realise the effort i'm putting in to tolerate all these shit they are giving me

there's nothing i can do
but cry
and cry..

and cry.

i feel like a pathetic piece of shit

why is 2006 so sucky for me?

&loved you so.

7.8.06

its so unfair..friends around me are all having 3 or max 4 days week.
me?
FIVE.
and look at the freaking soci notes i've to READ.................
omg omg omg
COMMUNIST..why does it seems like i'm taking HISTORY?
the starting of soci is going to be so DULL and BORING.
BUT
i must perserve.
i know i'll love this subject once i get all the foundation work done =)

and because i'm not staying in hall.
i can't register for the korean language course..which i wanted so badly!!!
but it starts at a freaking 7pm on wed/fri/weekends.
which is definitely a NONO for me..
i don't want to rot in school for half a day just for this lesson.
nvm..i believe i'll have plenty of chances next time!

I think i really don't need a laptop after much thinking.
its like..
i'll still be using my desktop at home..
the laptop is just for surfing the school's web for updates in school when i've the time..like in between lessons or on the train
so perhaps..
i'll get the PDA instead.
still considering =)

spent $97 for concession pass.
spent $80 on just 2 textbooks. (more to come)
ah.....*headache*

my 1st lecture today with mrs teng for /craft of writingshe's like so funny that the one hour lecture was liven up with joy!
great.
me and bernice were like complaining about the stacks of notes we're supposed to read.
sheesh. and its essential to be early for /craft of writing\ since its a combine lecture with psycho/econs/eng people..to get good seats. =)

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like almost months of vacation ever since the end of jc life..
i wonder alot
i think alot
i cry alot
i sigh alot
i procrastinate alot

i come to realise although we used to have some misunderstandings, differences, conflicts between us..that we almost lose the bond as close friends..
somehow it was god's will to never let it end.
and going through so much..
seeing so much changes in all my friends..etc..
i realise this someone is still someone i can't do without and i know the bond between us will never fade.
powerwoman.thanks for being there for me all along..
and we still know each other the best..
i may not be the most "fun" friend you can have that can provide you with max. entertainment
but i'm definitely the one and only who'll be there to listen to your sorrows/problems and be there for you =)

i remember knowing a friend call Fizah during my stay in changi DFS..
she's working in the perfume shop and we clicked so well..
even promise to have seoul garden outing before she leaves for aussie for her marriage..
on the last day we had dinner together..
she was feeling so sad with her fiance and his cousin as a "3rd party"..
she didn't have the appetite to eat..and smile..when she was the happy go lucky girl i always see..
before i knock off work i rush up to delifrance before it closes to get her favourite strawberry cheesecake to cheer her up and also a farewell gift..
she smiled and was so touched..

doing such acts..
make me very happy too.

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there are people who gave excuses not to meet up..not really to the extent of avoiding to meet up with you but..just somehow lazy to fork out the time and effort..and feeling enthsiastic about it..
there are people who come and go in your life..who were your good friends for just a short period of time..
there are people who do not even want to put in much effort remembering you or doing something for you..
there are people who forsake old friends for their new friends..
there are people forgetting little details about you

yet

there are people feeling how you feel
there are people understanding you
there are people who spring surprises for you..be it birthdays, valentines, xmas, etc..
there are people remembering small little details about you that make your day..

if anyone out there..you have people like this by your side
please cherish them and don't take them for granted. okay?

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&loved you so.

5.8.06

school's starting next monday!
planning to minor in communication studies, but at the moment i chose malay language =)
considering jap because i've taken 1 yr and dropped it..feel like learning again..
see how everything goes first..

wanted a macbook so much..
BUT discouraged by everyone..
so think i'm getting the fujitsu lifebook instead~

sociology is sucha BIG group this time round!! largest in HSS!
soci rocks! =)
hopefully my tutorial mates will be nice!
sian can..bernice amanda etc my og mates aren't in my tutorial groups..
only afiah..
and everyone is either taking psychology/french as elective..
i'm the only one taking malay again.
thinking of forensic science!sounds pretty cool too!

like so many things undone..
and school's starting..goodness..
i've not have my bit of fun yet!
have not even met up with fu and wy!
i missed my 1st og outing! i'm so not going to missed the next one coming up!

i need some shopping done to add on to my casual wears i need for school.
more tees especially!
Queen's culture!

sheesh..
me and dear went to a marvelous hk cafe @ cine that day after watching /Lakehouse\..
YUMMILICIOUS!!!
because hk food has always been my favourite =)
not too expensive also..
definitely must go try their "YING YONG" --> *yuan1 yang1
po lo bao!
everything!
ok i'm drooling. AGAIN.
dear promise to bring me there soon!
*hugs*

/Lakehouse\ wasn't that great as i expected.
i still want to catch my /helen my baby fox\~~~~!!!!

p/s: i can't stop watching /innocent steps\ for nuts.
damn nice!

&loved you so.

1.8.06

Left to Right : QingQing, ZhenQiang, Jane, Jesslyn, WeiLiang, Me, Jen, Weiting
T1 Baileys Power *minus a couple of them not present

T1 Arrival power!!! =) with Elin and Denise!!

the super duper nice Sunflower garden..
taking pics in the rain..but it turned out nice..so its worth it huh? =)

my bestest working/slacking mate

its so hard to get qiao ying to take pic with us..
arrival baileys girls =)

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&loved you so.