ntu soci 3rd year x))
17th april 1987
5'7 tall
I don't tolerate incongruity
Music, Dancefloor makes me come alive
A world of self denial i live
embodiment of ice
YDesires.
canon ixus 970is or
fujifilm f100d
clothes
maintain GPA of 4.0 above
happiness
pretty skin
kuantan fieldtrip from 24th to 27th mar.. quite fun bahx.. but the long hrs of travelling is a turn off. places we went..pandan waterfall(v nice!!).tekam plantation.batu hitam beach(ppl were bz picking seashells instead of looking at e basalt features).telok cempedak(clean beach.nice scenary.super breezy).caras limestone cave(so high!!220steps.gess more den tt coz we went higher!!n into the cave whr diff rituals r held).beserah road quarries(it rained!!) dey haf realli clean beaches compared to spore! food was quite sumptous for us. buffet most of e time. but we seemed to haf fried rice for everi meal uh? jerantut hill resort was a bit eerie. cudn't slp! coz all i hear was lizards tsk tsk tsk in e middle of e nite. kay n june was soundly asleep! -_- swiss garden resort was a luxury for us. something like e sentosa hotel. twin suite room for us i tink. fairly big. n tink since our room haf 6 ppl (add wenjie jieying n zirui).. e amt of shit we produced choked the toilet bowl. n i was cornered off to a puny portion on e bed.shesshhh. n i even sleeptalk e last day.juz b4 i woke up. scenary at swiss garden was fantastic! not to forget e 1 hr shopping trip.. erhem.not enuff time lar.whole world runs about frm one shop to another. clothes.bags.accessories. hmmmmmmm.i din even get anithing for myself. basically i dunno wad to buy. secondly.nth fancies me. tink spore has wadeva is there..n prices ain aniwhr cheaper too. but shopping malls r def big.
still in e hol mood thou.. n sch is getting more n more tiring.. more hw..more tests.. ah..how i wish i'm still in kuantan.. nth but sleep n eat. seafood everyday! provided i can bring dear along wif me.. it'll b juz so perfect!
i miss him loads!
i realli can't wait for yr end!! looking fwd to 18th nov. sigh.a big question mark. m i able to do well for A's? pathetic MCT results i've got even thou i passed e criteria. everyone ard me is doing far better. at least..i see As Bs Cs. wad bout me? EEEEEEEEEs.
i'm v v sleepy still. *yawns* great to noe tmr alr last day of sch. sad to say..next wk is gona b hell.
if i'm not wrong.. syf is juz bout like half a mth away..for sec sch ppl.. noe wad's my greatest wish now? to b able to play my bassoon again.. together wif everione else.. in e big big dhssb family.. but well.. its def a dream.. nth remains.. juniors-used-to-be r seniors themselves alr.. gess maybe i'm even forgotten..? but to me.. i've nv forget everi single one of dem.. esp my section..e squad i used to lead..n some other ppl.. there r so mani things tt i missed.. e urge to pursue dis dream of mine.. but at e mere thot tt its juz impossible. i realli feel like crying.. maybe i'm juz over-reacting.. everithing's changed n moved on. so do ppl change. i'm juz a passer by in their lifes.. wif or w/o my presence.. gess it no longer matters.. sometimes i wonder when last time ppl tell me dey will miss me.. do dey realli mean it..? or do these phrases still stand now? i realli wonder..
dunno whether is i miss playing in a band.. or miss my frens.. or miss my instru.. or miss my juniors.. i juz feel... empty. it juz isn't right tt i'm idling away. i realli love music. but its sucha irony i'm completely detached frm band world.. after sucha long time.. even if i wana go back again..as in swo or wadeva alumni band or wad... i've no guts. i noe myself i'm no longer e eileen ppl see me as last time.. i noe e moment i start playing ppl will drop their jaws.. gess i'll nv hear ani appraisal frm anione animore..
wad has jc done to me? or issit juz me? i dunno. i used to lead. n i love to lead. i love band. i love e big family. but wad m i doing now? juz tink i've completely lost myself.. i realli choose to b a hermit crab now. i duno wad's stopping me. but i noe there's dis big hurdle in my heart hesitating me to do anithing..or to speak.
identity crisis. n i mean it. sooner or later i realli dun recognise myself animore.
sparklethots
